Confession Time

Image by Josh Roulston

Over the last five weeks I have been posting fairly infrequently and in that time I also fell off the Vegan wagon…but wait, there’s more…for a brief while I was pregnant for the first time in my life. As swiftly and surprisingly as pregnancy came, nine weeks later it was all over 😦  In truth, a developing embryo only resided within me for at best, four or five weeks. However my body continued to believe it was pregnant, by (a) continuing to grow an empty gestational sack and (b) serving up the most hideous morning sickness I could have imagined for a further four weeks. OK, I wasn’t vomiting left right and centre; I instead developed an aversion for almost all foods except beige ones and the occasional bit of green, but could happily munch away on MSG laden snacks which seemed to be the only thing which temporarily reduced the nightmarishly unending nausea. There were exceptions to the beige tendancies; Jelly Belly beans could cure all ills on certain days. My sense of smell was also now off the scale and while everything which had previously smelled good to me was poison, bad smells were suddenly amplified by ten.

Image by Amber Nimmervoll

So someone who had previously prided herself on eating good, healthy (and more recently vegan) food, turned into someone who would eat whatever she could stomach. In short this is where free range eggs and farmers market hard cheeses re-entered my limited diet – but not without a struggle I might add. Before the morning sickness reared its ugly head, I marched off to a dietician who specialised in Vegan/Vegetarian diets for advice on how I could stick to my principles while still nourishing the child taking form within me. The news was good; a few nips, tucks and tweaks and he could see no reason my diet would not provide all the nutrients I needed for the journey ahead. However, when the morning sickness kicked in, I soon realised I would have to eat whatever nutritious foods I could stomach to supplement a fairly lacking and unbalanced diet.

After finally experiencing the phenomenon of pregnancy I really do have a new-found respect and empathy for pregnant women; the hormones coursing through body and mind literally take over the driver’s seat and suddenly every breath you take, every move you make (sorry Sting) is about what’s best for the baby. Hence my absence here. After working a full day sitting at a desk in my job as a graphic designer, the only activity I was capable of in the evening, was dropping like a sack of potatoes onto the lounge and drifting into the deepest, coma-like sleep imaginable complete with snoring (I never said it was glamorous) 😉

So now, it will be a period of re-adjustment and taking stock. We couldn’t grieve for the loss of a baby as he or she had left the building (so to speak) weeks earlier at the size of a mere dot. We had however, fallen in love with the idea of what could be and the amazing ride we would embark upon which would change our lives in all kinds of ways forever more.

Throughout this shortlived but enlightening journey, one of my favourite quotes rang true from the beginning and now from an entirely different perspective, still does:

“Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans”
John Lennon

Let’s see what it has in store for us next.

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